Monday, November 27, 2023

Thinking Of You Today And Forever

(By Richard Goodman, 27 November 2023)



In the middle of May, I’m in my office working.  It has been a quiet morning so far.  Then around 10:45, the power went out.  The lights, the electricity, the internet- everything shuts down.  Since this happens occasionally in every office everywhere, I do what I normally do, which is nothing.  I take five minutes to walk around the office and do some things that don’t require electricity.  Surprisingly, the power did not come back on during that time.  Usually, it momentarily blips and everyone panics then it comes back on after two or three minutes.  Not this time.  So I check my cell phone for alerts from the property management company, or our I.T. company, or the Alexandria city government.  No notices at all so I check-in again with the other people in the office.  Still the same situation for them as well. 

As the company’s Operations Manager, I am in charge of power, internet, and all those things that keep the company running although I have no special power over them when they suddenly stop working.  I called our internet provider and they confirm that we are offline but that it is not on their end.  So I’m wondering what I can do to fix the situation, and the IT company suggests calling the phone company to see if they are doing work in that area and maybe cut a power cable.  I might as well try that since I can’t do anything else and my phone won’t stay charged forever. 

Ping!  My phone announces that a text message just came in and since it starts playing “Rat In Mi Kitchen” by UB40, I know the text is from my sister. 

Susan: “Please give me call when you are free.”

I don’t like that message because my sister rarely calls during the workday.  A text, sure, but not a phone call.  Also, the day before she texted me something about our Mom, who is in assisted living and has been slowly going downhill.  She texted an article called “How to recognize that a loved one is dying” and said, “Mom has the mottled skin now, is restless, and has rattled breath.”  As I said, I don’t like that on today’s text she asked me to call instead of texting me like normal.  I texted her back.

Richard: “I’m on the phone with our phone/internet company because our internet died so no one can do anything.  Is that an omen?”

Susan: “Yes”

Richard: “Damn it.”

Susan: “


So the phone company says that they will register my issue and get in touch with me if they have any updates about work in the area that might be affecting our power or internet service.  In the meantime, they will send a tech out to our site to troubleshoot the issue.  After some back and forth, they agree to send the tech today instead of two days from now.  I let everyone know this and they all decide to go home and work from home since it isn’t a problem with our overall IT infrastructure because all the remote staff are online and not having any problems.  It is just the local internet in the office because the power is out.  While I wait for the tech, I call my sister back and she confirms the worst.  Mom passed away a little earlier that morning, right around the time the power went out. 

This is kind of weird, right?  The power goes out for an extended time right when Mom is unable to fight anymore and succumbs to her posterior cortical atrophy, dementia, and related medical issues.  I think it was Mom giving me some time to reflect and grieve.  Sitting alone in a dark office, with no distractions kind of forces you to think about things. 

My sister agrees that it is an odd coincidence. That was not the only one though.  Three days later, on my birthday, Sweden won the Eurovision song contest.  Mom is a proud Swede and have been thrilled to know that Sweden won the song contest for a record-tying seventh time.  Then when Susan and I went to Florida to attend the funeral, we had the fun task of going to the funeral home and making final choices on arrangements that Mom had made for Dad and her at that cemetery. 

We picked out the actual spot where they would be buried, near the center where there was a bench and flower bed since Mom liked to look at flowers.  Then we went to a small grassy area to look at the headstones the funeral home had on hand for immediate use.  As we were debating if Mom would have liked any of these headstones, we heard a really loud cracking sound and looked across the yard to see that a huge branch just broke off a tree by the funeral home.  Susan and I glanced at each other and decided that we would go inside the funeral home and look at other options for headstones in their catalog.  Mom didn’t seem to want us looking at the ones out here.       

After going inside and looking at the other possible headstones, we found one that we agreed on and thought Mom would like, and that Dad could tolerate because they wanted a combined headstone for both of them since they would be buried side by side.  We ordered the one that felt right for them and passed on some of the trinkets that were offered, like creating a necklace with a loved one’s fingerprint on it or making things out of their ashes.  Next time we go down to Florida, we can see the finished headstone that was placed there after it was delivered.  One thing we didn’t realize until we discussed it with the funeral home director is that Florida does not allow ashes to be buried outside of a container.  If you are cremated, you cannot also have those ashes in a burial plot unless they are in an approved container.  Mom had specifically said that she did not want to be buried in a box in the cold ground.   

Even though she did prefer cremation, she hadn’t expressed an interest in being in a container sitting on a shelf somewhere so we had to make a choice on what she would have preferred.  Eventually we went with an ash vault in a light Swedish blue color that would be buried in the plot, and I asked to have a small container of ashes for myself.   That wrapped up the funeral planning for now.

The next day, we went to have lunch with Dad.  Before knocking on Dad’s door though, I made a stop at the little garden area where he did his daily walk.  It was a very small area but along the circular path there were several trees and bushes, a little water fountain, and lots of flowers.  I thought this would be a good place to sprinkle the container of Mom’s ashes that I got at the funeral home the previous day.  I scattered some among the various flower beds, at the base of the two trees, and underneath the shrubs until the little container was empty.  There were a few ashes clinging to the plastic bag which I put back in the keepsake container to take home with me.  As I finished up the scattering, rain started to sprinkle down, soaking the ashes into the ground so they would not blow away.  Now whenever Dad takes his daily walk around the path, he will be with Mom and she will be part of the flowers and trees, near her husband, and not just in a box in the ground.    

Finally, Susan and I met with the pastor to finalize the memorial ceremony.  Or rather, I watched Susan and the pastor confirm the songs, and readings that would go along with the service.  Susan had worked on this before with the pastor and now they just confirming everything, handing over the music that was selected, and picking the order of the different parts of the ceremony.  The pastor took us to view the chapel and see how the logistics of the ceremony would flow.  On the way back to her office, the pastor saw us looking at a cardinal on a tree branch.  She said that there had been quite a few cardinals appearing at the nursing home these past two weeks, which was a bit unusual because they aren’t really that common in the area.  Susan and I looked at each other with a little shiver because cardinals are very common in Virginia, where it is the state bird and where our family lived for many years. 

The pastor had alerted the nursing home community about the memorial service and Susan had already placed an obituary in the newspaper a few days ago to alert anyone else that that may want to come to the memorial.  I made sure to search the local convenience stores in town for the newspaper once we arrived- in the evening of the day it was published.  At first, Susan wondered why I wanted to keep stopping at convenience stores and grocery stores but then she realized I was looking for the newspaper so I had a physical copy of it.  I found what must have been the one remaining copy in town. 

We didn’t think that the obituary, which was pretty expensive for a local paper, would bring in a huge crowd, but we thought it would be nice to let people know about Mom and what she had accomplished during her life and maybe say a prayer for her, even if they didn’t know her at all.  She deserved to be noticed and appreciated.

At the memorial service, things were kind of a blur as you would expect.  Susan had arranged for a big picture of Mom to be printed and the pastor provided the memorial program for the ceremony and there was a flower arrangement too so that part was taken care of.  Then people came in, the pastor spoke, music played, we had a slideshow with pictures of Mom and her family, and then it came time for the eulogy.  There was no way my Dad could do it- his memory issues are severe enough that he might forget what he was doing at the podium midway through talking.  Plus, he was emotionally distraught. He was actually crying during the ceremony, especially at the slideshow.  The only other time I saw him cry was at my sister’s wedding.  I’m glad he was able to understand the significance of the event and be able to express his grief.

My sister had said that she did not want to do the eulogy either because she did not think she would be able to get through it.  So it fell to me, since I was the emotionless one, although I hated public speaking.  In the last year or so, I had been thinking of what I could say about Mom when the time came and after the power went out at work that day, I started gathering those thoughts and putting them into a semi-coherent order that I hoped would do justice to my mother.  I got up and delivered the eulogy, trying to impress on the audience how much she meant to me and our family, and describe her involvement in the wider world.  She made a mark and her absence will be felt for a long time. 

Mom had outlived all her relatives and the one or two of her remaining close friends were in Sweden.  She took a trip to Sweden about eight years ago, just her and my dad, to visit people and show Dad her places since he never came along when Susan and/or I accompanied Mom to Sweden.  I think that was sort of a farewell tour for her, to showcase her husband, say goodbye to friends, and get a last look at her home country while she could still talk and move about somewhat independently. 

That is why I’m glad Bill, my uncle, got up and said a few words about Barbro.  He talked about what a smart, friendly lady she was.  He shared a story about how when her vision started going and she couldn’t read a restaurant menu board, she asked the counter clerk to read her the options.  The clerk asked my aunt and uncle, who were with her for lunch, if she was illiterate, to which my aunt replied, “Yes, and she is illiterate in multiple languages.”

I didn’t want to be the only one to commemorate her.  She should have had dozens of people get up and say how wonderful she was but, in the end, it came down to those that were the most important to her- her family.  She would have appreciated that the ceremony was short and sweet, and showed the love that we all felt for her.

We didn’t do much at the gravesite, other than put the ash vault in the ground and throw in some ceremonial dirt.  It was just my Dad, my sister and I sitting there reflecting on what had occurred and remembering Barbro.  My aunt didn’t feel up to it since she has been having some struggles of her own, but she got to spend time with Mom during several bedside visits in those last few weeks.  My uncle did the same, as he had for quite some time, providing some mental stimulation to keep my mom engaged in the world on his visits and also when he accompanied my aunt. I’m thankful for everyone’s support during this time of grief.  It was easier to handle knowing that others felt the same way about my mom and were there for her too.  I hope I don’t have to go through this again for a long, long time.

Below I included the eulogy I wrote for my mom and delivered at her memorial ceremony, in case you want to know what I said.  You can also visit the funeral home’s website through the link below and see the obituary that was published in the paper or view the video slideshow we made for the memorial.  Love each other while you can and think of them now and forever.

Barbro L Goodman Obituary - Visitation & Funeral Information (gentry-morrison.com)

  

Eulogy For My Mom, Barbro Goodman

I’ve avoided writing a eulogy for my mother, Barbro Lindberg Goodman, for years because I didn’t want to imagine there would be a time when she wasn’t around.  Mom inadvertently enabled my procrastination by continuing to defy stubbornly the negative prognosis she received.  When doctors diagnosed her with a rare affliction, Posterior Cortical Atrophy, she was given an estimate of no more than five to seven years to live.  Well, she surpassed that estimate and stubbornly fought not just to stick around but to stay connected to the world.   When the affliction caused her brain to stop processing images properly, it became difficult for her to navigate and walk on her own or even recognize common items like a fork.  For such an independent and capable person, I can’t imagine how hard that was on her. 

Rather than give up, she adapted and allowed herself to depend on others, something she wasn’t used to doing.  She accepted her husband’s arm on walks around the neighborhood, trusting that he would guide her around safely.  She listened to audiobooks for entertainment since she couldn’t read the newspaper or magazines anymore.  She was happy to be around other people and soak up the conversations. 

When additional ailments struck her, she lost the ability to hold extended conversations.  When a fall put her in assisted living, she was basically bed-ridden and unable to see or speak but she kept hanging on.  During our visits with Mom in her room, we had mostly one-sided conversations, but she would occasionally make a short comment or murmur an acknowledgment that showed she knew we were there and had been following the conversation.  There were times when someone asked her if we should go and let her rest, and she immediately and emphatically said “No!”  That melted my heart at the same time it broke it.  She knew we were there and wanted us to stay with her.

My favorite recent memory was on a visit about five years ago.  Mom was still in the Florida house with Dad, and I was sitting at the perpetually cluttered kitchen table with her.  She couldn’t really see but when I told her I was looking at some photo albums that appeared to be hers from when she was growing up in Sweden, she wanted to “see” them too.  I would describe the picture to her, and she would tell me what was happening in her life at that time, who was in the picture with her, and about what year it was.  I learned a lot about her childhood friends, her time in the Swedish equivalent of the Girl Scouts, what her mom and dad were doing, what school life was like, and what she wanted to study in college.  That was an enlightening conversation and the last lengthy one I remember having with her.  Her ability to converse started fading shortly afterwards.

In a sense, that is when I lost my Mom.  The mother I had known for over 50 years was gone.  Instead, I would sometimes get glimpses of the person she had been.  I treasure those little moments I got after she started declining and losing the ability to see or talk.  For instance, when I agreed with her logic about delaying a surgical procedure until further tests were done, and she said, “That’s my Richard!”, it brought me back to my childhood where I enjoyed getting praise from my mom.  When I came to visit her in her hospital room, she sat up a little straighter when I was there and listened intently to whatever silly story I was telling about what was going on in my life. 

Some visits she was babbling and saying nonsense words, but I would try to follow along and see if I could place myself in her stream of consciousness.  I would comment on what she had said and she would respond and we had a conversation on the likely imaginary story in her head but I always hoped it was a memory she was reliving, and we were sharing a moment from her past. 

In March, during my final visit with Mom, she seemed to be in pain because she was moaning and agitated.  I told her I understood how difficult things were and that I wished I could make it better for her.  I put my hand over hers and told her I was going to go, to go see Dad.  She stopped making noises and looked in the direction of my voice.  I told her I loved her.  And that I would see her again soon.

Two days later, she took a turn for the worse and was put on “peaceful passage” status, a nice euphemism that the family should expect the worst imminently.  I was about to lose my mom again, for good.  But being the focused, purposeful person she had always been, she rallied and her vital signs improved enough that she was removed from “peaceful passage”.    I had even admiringly joked to Susan that Mom was like the Little Engine That Could, she just kept going and going and was determined to succeed.  Sadly, the engine ran out of steam in May.  Mom finally succumbed to her second “peaceful passage”.   I won’t say she surrendered though because from what the nurse said, she was fighting to stay around and draw another breath.

So now I’m doing something I never wanted to do.  I’m still trying to procrastinate though because now I’m stuck on how to celebrate someone who gave life to me and whom I’ve known my entire life in just a few words.  Someone who made me the person I am today in every way imaginable. 

I can talk about her accomplishments that the world sees.  A woman in Sweden who got a degree in Chemical Engineering at the university in Halsingborg.   During a trip to Germany, when she was taking a summer break from teaching chemistry and math, she met an American Army Officer, and after a short time they got married and moved to America, where she raised two wonderful children.  Not content to be a bystander, Mom went back to school and did her degree again, in America, so she could get a job and put her chemical engineering skills to practical use.  She went to work for Philip Morris, the world’s leading cigarette maker, and became an integral part of the company in a male dominated profession.  Along the way, she was named on six patents for her technical innovations. 

After retiring from Philip Morris, and moving to North Carolina, she kept herself occupied by working for H&R Block doing taxes until retiring for good to travel the world.  She had already seen some of the world as an Army wife, having lived in Germany, Florida, Michigan, Maryland, and Virginia with her husband George, and on trips to Europe and Scandinavia with her parents Margit and Lars, as well as going to international conferences as a representative for Philip Morris.  Now she was seeing more of it, along with her family.  Mom, Dad, and I travelled to a dozen foreign countries before Mom’s medical issues became too unmanageable.  We visited Iceland, Spain, Morocco, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Hungary, among others.  Of course, I was also happy to join Mom whenever she wanted to go to Sweden and visit Mormor, or to handle the affairs for Mormor’s funeral in 2008.  I cherish those later trips when we got to socialize as adults and spend quality time with each other.                 

So to the world at large, Barbro was a good citizen, a successful worker, and a wonderful mother and wife.  But that is not why we remember her and admire her.  We love her for the person that she is.  A shy Swedish girl with a clever, inquisitive mind and an overwhelming curiosity about everything.  Mom wanted to see everything, experience everything, and taste everything.   

The times I will remember most fondly were those when she was just being herself, a logical person eager to experience new things with her family.  I love when she tells the story of having me on a leash when I was a small child because I liked to wander off and see things too, just like her.  Some shocked parent asked her why she was treating me like an animal and keeping me on a leash.  Mom explained the practicality of the leash and body harness and how it allowed me to wander around happily but not get so far away that I got into danger.  She couldn’t understand why everyone didn’t have their kids harnessed.  

During summer vacations, Mom and Dad would take Susan and I to destinations around Virginia.  We went to Williamsburg (Virginia), Kitty Hawk (North Carolina), Chincoteague Island (Virginia), with Dad as the driver and Mom as the navigator, roles they would continue to perform for most of their life.  We would frequently go to Sweden to visit her parents, and we loved exploring the Swedish countryside with our Mormor and Morfar, seeing the giant Dala horse at the Dala factory, visiting the shops in Falkoping, and getting candy at the corner kiosk.

When Susan and I were in school, Mom would do all the mom things you expected and that we took for granted.  She would drive us to sports practices, take us shopping for clothes, and drop us at a friend’s houses before we could drive ourselves.  She took me and my friend John to our first comic book convention in Richmond.  At the time, I actually remember thinking it was an imposition on her but she said she would just go into work for a couple of hours since Philip Morris was not too far from where the convention was.  Now I can look at that generosity and know she did it because she wanted me to do something that I enjoyed, just like her. 

Even though she was actively engaged in our lives, she taught us independence as well.  Since Mom and Dad both had careers, they weren’t home when school let out so for a while we went to various babysitters after school and then later on we became latchkey kids.  It was a logical decision to make.  Since we were responsible enough to be on our own, there was no reason to spend money on a babysitter.  So being babysat and then being latchkey kids taught us adapt to new situations and to be responsible for ourselves.        

During Christmases, Mom would both delight us and torment us kids.  We were delighted to see all the wonderful decorations, including things most American kids didn’t have, at least not then, like straw rams, advent calendars, Santa Lucia decorations, and a Christmas Eve present since Sweden celebrates on December 24th.  She tormented us by wrapping wonderful presents and then labeling them with secret numbering codes that only she knew.  So I didn’t know if the notation R48 meant it was one of 48 presents for me or if it meant something else entirely.  I never did figure out what the code meant.     

At our various homes in Virginia, Dad always had a vegetable garden in the back and Mom had a flower garden in the front.  She loved to plant flowers and shrubs.  For one of her birthday’s when we lived in Chester, Virginia, she asked for a hanging plant holder and I thought she was wasting a birthday present by asking for plant stuff but I got her a macrame plant holder and she loved it.  I was amazed at the joy she could get from something so practical and unglamorous.  That taught me that listening to what people want can create a special moment.  She also loved to look at flowers.  During her travels, if there was a flower garden or flowerpot, she would stop to look and take a picture.  I think flowers reminded her of her childhood in Sweden and being outdoors.  Her parents also had lovely flower beds, bushes, and trees shrubs around their house.  Plus rhubarb plants which were made into a rhubarb pie that Mom loved but none of us shared her delight at that so-called treat.

When home computers started becoming affordable, Mom got one for our family.  The same thing happened when VCRs came out.  I have an audio recording from the 1970’s when Mom used a cassette tape recording to document a Christmas in Florida.  She was curious about new technologies and wanted to see what they were like.  At different points in her life, Mom was a gardener, Red Hat Lady, a bridge player, a witness in a landmark lawsuit, a member of her neighborhood community committee, a community cookbook contributor, a fan of the television shows Survivor and Big Brother, a Girl Scout, an MBA, and a patent holder. 

If you will please indulge me for just a couple more stories about my Mother because I haven’t mentioned one of the most amazing things about my mother, which is her unending capacity for delight.  On our first river cruise trip together, there was a day in Hungary when we had a free afternoon.  We decided to walk around and just look around at the town we were in.  It was a pretty town but a sudden rainstorm drenched us since we didn’t have umbrellas or raincoats.  We scurried into a nearby shop and it turned out to be a bakery so we got a pastry and drink and sat at the table talking and watching the rain fall on the square.  I loved that afternoon as much as any of the “important” sites we saw on the trip.   

Then during a trip to Sweden, we did something similar.  On an overcast day, we were walking around Falkoping, because we were both in the mood for Princess cake, a very Swedish confection of angel cake, crème, strawberry jam, and marzipan.  We stopped by several shops until we finally found some and took it back to where we were staying and ate cake while talking about our trip.

You might see where this is going.  If you know my Mom, you know she loved pastry.  Any pastry really.  If you set a slice of pie, Princess cake, a Danish, a coffee crumb cake, a muffin, a doughnut, any baked good really, her eyes would light up.  No matter what was going on at the time, how tired she was, how much she had already eaten, she retained a childlike delight at the chance to experience something amazing.  Every pastry was a chance for something wonderful, the possibility of experiencing something new and unknown. 

If you dared to have eat a pastry in front of her, you better have something for her as well or she would have one of her rare moments of hurt and disappointment.  I always felt terrible if I caused Mom any hurt.  I still can’t believe none of us made any special fuss about that birthday thirty years ago.  Since then, at least I’ve learned to always bring a treat for Mom.

Being the practical person she was, Mom passed away May 10th, 2023, on the cusp of Mother’s Day, and today she is being celebrated on her seventy-eighth birthday so we will always know when to celebrate Mom’s life and her passing. 

Thank you for bearing with me while I worked through this and for overlooking my lapses using past and present tense incorrectly while I let this settle into my brain.  This has helped me process things.  Following specific steps and analyzing a situation is something I got from my Mom and I’m happy I did.  Being curious, eager, optimistic, enthusiastic, logical, practical, and organized are gifts.  What she gave me, by birth and by example, is something I can never thank her enough for.   

As I wrote this, I looked back at some of those pictures from the Swedish photo albums I discussed with her five years ago and I’m now struck not by the stories that we shared then but by how many more photos there are that I never got a chance to ask her about, all the other stories I didn’t get to hear.  Seventy-eight years was not enough time to appreciate what a remarkable person she was.  Thank you for being here and sharing this difficult experience with me and for celebrating this remarkable person.   

In the end, I want the same thing everybody wants – to spend more quality time with the people they love, even if it is just doing something ordinary like sitting at a table trying a new pastry and talking to each other.  




Monday, September 1, 2014

The Year In Music: 2013

My Favorite Songs Of 2013

This year was a prefect representation of how diverse, and some would say fragmented, music exploration has become.  Looking over the things I picked as my favorite songs for 2013, I notice that I came across the songs in many different ways.   There was no one standard way I discovered new songs (or songs that were new to me since it doesn’t matter when the song was released, only what year it was when I first got into it.)  Once I found them though, I then took all my favorites that could fit onto two CDs and sent them out to my musically curious friends (if you want a CD too, just let me know.)  If you look further down on this blog post, you’ll see that I’ve also posted my favorite and least favorite albums for the year.  There is some overlap with this favorite songs list but there are some differences.  Now, here’s how I found the songs that would become my favorites for 2013 and why I liked them.  

Disc 1 Of 2

The Troggs-   With A Girl Like You

There was a rom-com-zom movie (romantic comedy zombie movie) called Warm Bodies that came out this year.  It was a decent movie, although laughably naïve, but in the months before it came out, I saw the preview a dozen times in the theater.  Each time I got hooked on the song that played in the preview.  It was this song, which I’d had heard once or twice in the past but hadn’t really paid attention to it since it got very little airplay.  The only Troggs songs you probably hear on the radio anymore are “Wild Thing”, which I kind of disliked even before it was over-used by appearing in dozens of movies, and “Love Is All Around” which I still like even though it was overused in the movie “Love Actually”.  That’s it- you don’t hear any other Troggs songs on the radio and even those two are fairly rare.  When I watched Warm Bodies and that song was not in the movie, despite being perfectly in synch with the plot of the movie, I had to buy it because it had earwormed its way into being one of my favorite songs, 40 years after it was released.  I bought several other Troggs songs at the same time because I enjoyed their low-fi, simplistic, bashing style of music but this the best one of them all.  Plus, I loved the lyrics too.

Bee Gees-   Out Of Time

I saw a magazine review of the deluxe re-issues of the first few Bee Gees albums and decided to upgrade since my CDs were old and didn’t include the bonus material.  One of the bonus items was this song, which was recorded but never released.  How that happened, I can’t begin to imagine because it is an awesome song.  It would have been a highlight on any album yet they let it languish for decades.  That’s flabbergasting.

Adam Ant-   Marrying The Gunner's Daughter

Also in a magazine review, I saw that Adam Ant was releasing his first new album in 15 years.  Being a fan of his (how can you not love songs like “Stand And Deliver” and “Crackpot History”?), I thought I would buy the album.  It was also a moral imperative in a sense since Ant had been a little mentally tormented lately and briefly entertained suicidal thoughts a few years back because he felt like he was washed-up.  This album has a little bit of everything- the typical Ant sounding songs like the title track, the metal-ish pop sound that had inspired Nine Inch Nails to cover ant’s “Physical”, some ballads a la Wonderful and then there is his WTF song “Who’s A Goofy Bunny”.  An enjoyable, schizophrenic album. 

Antonia Bennett-   Pill

I am a big fan of Holly Knight, the incredible songwriter from the 1980’s who wrote songs like Obsession, Love Is A Battlefield, Rag Doll and Simply The Best.  I periodically check her website to see if she posted anything about writing a new song for someone.  What she had been working on lately was producing a debut album for Antonio Bennett, Tony Bennett’s daughter.  The album was so-so, some good stuff and some generic stuff but I always buy whatever Holly Knight does.  This is one of the more interesting songs from the album.

Pharrell Williams-   Happy

I enjoyed Despicable Me and decided to watch the sequel because the previews made it seem like there would be even more of the Minions, the goofy yellow critters that are the comic relief of the series.  As you have certainly heard by now Pharrell Williams did several songs for the soundtrack including the totally inescapable song “Happy.”  Before it became a monster hit though, I simply liked the scene in the movie with the song and decided to buy it, not realizing I would be hearing it plenty in the next few months.

Gentlemen Hall-   Sail Into The Sun

I was watching television and this song was in a commercial.  I can’t tell you what the commercial was for anymore- a car?  A cleaning product?  Lipitor?- but the song snuck its way into my brain so I Shazamed the commercial to see who did the song and then bought a digital download of it.  The same thing happened for a Target commercial with the Passion Pit song further below.  Heard the song in a commercial, Shazamed it, bought it. 

Blue Rodeo-   Don't Let The Darkness In…

After watching a movie in the theater, I sat through the end credits because this song was playing over them and I wanted to see who performed it.  It reminded me of the Jayhawks, a group I love, but it was more bleak and glum then what they do.  I’d never heard of Blue Rodeo although they have several albums out.  I took a chance on getting their whole album instead of just this song in case they actually were a new Jayhawks. They weren’t but this is still a good but bleak song.

Oh Land-   My Boxer

When I was on Amazon buying something, I saw this was one of the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought…” so I added it to my Wish List.  At the same time, I mentally frowned at Amazon because they never recommend things based on what I’m interested in or have bought in the past.  The only things that usually show up in the “Recommended For You” area are things similar to what I just looked at.  You would think that if I bought the last three CDs by an artist, then their next album would show up in my “Recommended for You” area or would generate an email alerting me but they don’t.  I had to stumble across a new Berlin album, this album, Matthew Sweet’s latest, etc… in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought…” spot.  That’s part of why it is hard to find new things easily- there is no definitive recommendation source.  This album was okay, but only a few songs stood out to me.  This one wasn’t necessarily the best of those but it is really intriguing.  Kind of an alternative rock version of Kelis’ “Milkshake”.  I kept listening to it and thinking “What is she trying to say?”  Then again, she’s Scandinavian and they are a little out there anyways so maybe she was just freestyling instead trying to craft insightful lyrics that meant something. 

Brian Setzer Orchestra-   My Favorite Things (Instrumental)

I was looking at Amazon for the new Brian Setzer album so of course they “recommended” several of his other CDs, including several Christmas CDs I didn’t realize he’d done.  Since I didn’t have any big band swing Christmas albums, I decided to get one.  This was my favorite song on the album.  This track, originally from The Sound Of Music, is not really a Christmas song, but I found it to be atmospheric, haunting, and evocative, like a gentle snowfall in a remote forest.

Bombay Bicycle Club-   Shuffle

A co-worker and I were discussing the Academy Awards and she mentioned a video she saw that condensed all the best 2013 movies into a 7-minute You Tube video.  I had to go see that video because I wondered if they managed to include all the big names.  While watching the video, I couldn’t help but notice the music that was playing in the background.  It was really catchy and I enjoyed the background music more than the You Tube video.  This was that song and it feels very spry, lighthearted, positive and fun, just like the 2013 film “The Artist” that featured prominently in that You Tube compilation video.  

Phillip Phillips-   Get Up Get Down

I liked his song “Home” that played on the radio all the time so when I saw this $5 digital album of his on Amazon, I decided to get it.  There were several other good songs so it was well worth the $5.  This one confused me at first because I thought I was listening to a Dave Matthews track, not something by Phillip Phillips.  It wasn’t DM. It really was Phillips and it was my favorite song on the album.

CeeLo Green-   Bright Lights, Bigger City

After watching The Voice and seeing CeeLo lose to Blake Shelton again, I decided to give him a consolation prize and buy one of his songs.  I owned both Gnarls Barkey albums, plus the Pussycat dolls “Dontcha” and his “F*** You” and this was the best one of his that I didn’t already have.  (I’m not sure I’d like anything by The Goody Mobb.)  It’s a shiny piece of nouveau Motown. 

New Politics-   Harlem

Heard this on SiriusXM while driving to work one day.  It was upbeat and fun and based on the lyrics I didn’t think it would be big on the radio and get overplayed so I bought it.

Johnny Mathis-   Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting…)

Billy Joel’s website mentioned that Joel did a duet with Johnny Mathis.  Being a completist, I had to get this since Billy hasn’t done any Christmas songs before (although Christmas does feature heavily in his video for “She right On Time”.)  Every year I look for a Christmas song or two to expand my holiday collection.  Lately I’ve picked up Christmas songs by Weezer, Billy Idol, Sting, Aimee Mann, Dragonette, Kylie Minogue, the Brain Setzer album I mentioned earlier and now this one by Billy Joel.  It’s just a nice way to keep from hearing “Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer” yet again.

Sheryl Crow-   Shotgun

Entertainment Weekly reviewed Sheryl Crow’s latest album, an honest-to-God country album rather than one that dabbles in country sounds, like her previous 100 Miles From Memphis.  It was one of her better albums of the last few years because it had good songs, regardless of the genre.   I opted for the digital album because for once the intangible version was cheaper than the physical CD.

Cotton Mather-   My Before And After

A few years back, I heard this song on Little Steven’s Underground Garage radio show.  I put it on my To Buy spreadsheet but when I got around to looking for it, it was no longer in print.  I don’t know why I left it on my list at that point but last year I looked again and saw that it was back in print as a deluxe reissue.  Apparently, the band created a Kickstarter campaign and raised enough money to re-rerelease the album.  I didn’t see it on Kickstarter, because I heard about this after the fact, but Amazon did carry it so I bought it there.  The album is kind of eclectic.  This track sounds like early Beatles or Kinks, others sound like Cracker and some sound like Crosby Stills And Nash.  Very enjoyable.  Interestingly enough, this also led to the Veronica Mars movie in 2014.  Veronica Mars’ writer/showrunner (Rob Thomas) used a Cotton Mather song in the show so when their album was re-issued due to Kickstarter, he heard about it and thought that was a cool concept.  He decided to do a Kickstarter campaign to raise money for a Veronica Mars movie and the rest was history.  

Roxette-   Lover Lover Lover

Yes, that Roxette.  I read a review of a new album in a magazine and since I enjoyed them in the 1990’s, I thought I would give them a try.  It’s been about a decade since they did anything- in part because the lead singer had a brain tumor- but I think it is nice to have them back.  This sounds just like their other albums so if you hated them, you’ll hate this. If you thought they were a fun band, you’ll find this to be a fun song.  It’s a bit slower than some of their hits but it has a nice sound and a good vocal.

Donald Fagen-   I'm Not The Same Without You

Buying something on Amazon, I saw a new Donald Fagen album listed in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought…” section.  Since I have several of his albums and all the Steely Dan songs, I wanted this too.  I was very happy with the purchase- it sounded like Steely Dan and best of all it sounded like good Steely Dan.  The 2000 comeback album by Steely Dan, Two Against Nature, had some good songs but didn’t really capture their signature sound.  The follow-up, 2003’s Everything Must, got the Steely Dan sound right but had much weaker songs.  This new Fagen album sounds right and has good songs.  I played it quite a bit this year and had a tough time choosing a favorite among two or three of the songs.  I eventually went with this one.

Foxygen-   Shuggie

I subscribe to CMJ, which used to send me a monthly magazine and compilation CD of upcoming new artists and some older acts wanting to reintroduce themselves.  Now CMJ does a website and monthly digital download compilation.  I take a listen to all the songs to see if any of the artists are worth paying attention to.  This is one of the songs that caught my fancy so I will check out their next album when it hits Spotify.  I have a soft spot for songs that change tempo and styles during the song and this one does both.  Listening to it, I felt like I took a hit off a joint but there were no physical side effects after the song was over and I couldn’t get arrested for possession of the song.

Passion Pit-   Carried Away

As mentioned above, I came across this from a TV commercial.  Heard it, Shazamed it, bought it. 

Daft Punk-   Get Lucky

I couldn’t tell you exactly where I first heard about Daft Punk’s new album because the news was everywhere.  An ad on Saturday Night Live, Facebook notices, magazine articles, Twitter feeds, radio airplay.  Everywhere.  I do know that I really wanted the album to arrive because it had been a decade since their last album.  Plus, that album was fairly crappy so it had been 15 years since their last good album.  This one, unfortunately, did not change the trend.  As an album, I don’t like it.  As a place where a couple of really good singles resides, I like it.  This first single, Get Lucky, was awesome.  It hits a groove and rides it for 5 minutes.  It also resulted in an amazing video by Stephen Colbert.  So of course I thought the album would match the pluck, dash and rhythm of this single but this was actually the highlight and peak for the album.  “Give Life Back to Music” and “Lose Yourself to Dance" (featuring Pharrell Williams) were good even though they weren’t another “Get Lucky”.  Ironically, the song I liked best was also the one that really made me downgrade the album.  The last song, Contact, is a spiky, abrasive sound collage that reminds me of my favorite Daft Punk album- their debut album “Homework”.  If they had thrown a few more songs like this on the album, I could have handled some of the meandering, noodling nonsense on this album but no, this was a one-shot reminder of their faded glory.
 

Disc 2 Of 2


Paul Banks-   The Base

I poking around for info on about Interpol and if they were recoding a new album and I saw that the lead singer had done a solo album so I got that to tide me over.  In was an interesting album but I can clearly see how all the parts/members of the band work together to create their unique sound and atmosphere.   The vocals and lyrics come from Paula Banks, the signature moody bass sound from the departed bass player Carlos D, and then guitar and drums from the other members filling in after Banks and D had laid out the basis of each song.  This is a decent album but still a stop gap listen until Interpol drop something in 2014, which I really hope is good.  It’ll be the first without their founding bassist.


Beats Antique-   Beauty Beats

I don’t know how I came across this song.  I know it was some type of recommendation and I went to Spotify to hear their stuff and I cheery-picked a couple good songs.  I like how this is totally unique.  It sounds like a bunch of random musical instruments and sounds made by household appliances from the 1880’s were stitched  together to make a song.  This is more of sound sculpture than it is a song.

Moon King-   Appel

Another song I found on my CMJ compilation download.  It sounds like Lush, a wonderful but forgotten band from the 1990’s.  I’m not sure why they had a song on the compilation though because when I tried to buy a whole, it turns out they don’t have anything readily available.  Just one hard to find EP.  I’ll keep my eye out though in case they decide to follow-up with something else.

Silversun Pickups-   Bloody Mary

A music review in a magazine alerted me to the second release by this band.  If you find Smashing Pumpkins too pretentious, then try this band instead.

Eminem-   Berzerk

I heard this on the radio.  I thought it was bizarre and catchy and had to get it.  I generally like about every fourth song or so that Eminem does.  And yes, that is a Billy Squire sample in the song- another reason it sounds so good.

Ohgr-   Devil

Having done a binge listen to the last three Skinny Puppy albums that had accumulated on my “To Listen To” shelf, I was eager for even more but in the past I had been stung by horribly disappointing albums from the solo members of the band and was afraid to try again.  The only one I hadn’t given a chance was Nivek Ogre, or OhGr as he is known on solo work.  I decided to try one album and see what I thought.  As soon as I listened to it, I immediately got his other three albums and had another binge session.  This is what I had been missing when listening to the ambient, minimalist electronic work from the other solo members.  I liked the Ogre solo work almost as much as I had the Skinny Puppy albums.  OhGr goes for a more straight forward rock sound rather than Skinny Puppy’s experimental industrial sound but when either of these bands finds the right song, they can blow the roof off the building or smash down the walls.  It turns out that this is what I had been looking for.  Now the only problem is that there are no new Skinny Puppy or Ohgr albums on the horizon and previous alternatives Nine Inch Nails and Ministry have, respectively, either disbanded or gotten soft and lame.  Now what? 

Juliana Hatfield-   Don't Wanna Dance

Juliana has funded her last three albums via Kickstarter.  By now, I’m buying her stuff out of habit rather than fervored interest.  Maybe one of these times something will click and she’ll regain her past glory, which ended after the album “Total System Failure”.  Still, each album does provide two or three things worth a listen.  Here’s one of those songs.  It’s a fun little throw-away, and I obviously agree with the lyrics.

Spoon-   The Mystery Zone

Saw a review in a magazine about their latest one.  I am amazed each time I hear a Spoon album.  I always expect I won’t like it and I am put off at first by the minimalism of it, but after a second or third listen the quality of the songs and unique vocal and musical approach to it has won me over.  They are on a nice streak of quality output and I hope it continues.

Camper Van Beethoven-   Might Makes Right

David Lowery (Camper Van Beethoven, Cracker, solo) is an artist I periodically look up to see if there is anything new coming out.  I wasn’t a fan of CVB back in the day, but I was a fan of Cracker and when CVB started putting out albums, I started getting them since David Lowery writes a lot of the songs.  Half the songs are aesthetic hits and the other half are misses but since the album has a lot of songs, that still means a lot of good stuff is there to be heard.  This wasn’t necessarily the best song on the album but I liked the lyrical point and it fit my time limit constraints for the CDs.

Robert Plant-   Angel Dance

About once a year I check to see if Plant has done anything new.  I was equivocal about Led Zeppelin but he is now easily among my favorite artists of all time based on his solo work and I’m always eager to see what he does.  His style has not evolved but rather it has exploded. No genre is off-limits to his musical wanderlust.  He is curious about everything and makes news songs, covers, styles and genres sound like his own.  He hasn’t had any failures as a solo artist, just some albums that were less interesting than others.  Here’s a song from the album he just put out with his newly reformed pre-Zeppelin band.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs-   Mosquito

I was very disappointed in this album, mainly because most of the songs were boring and had none of the verve of the previous album.  This is one of the two songs worth salvaging for a future greatest hits album.

Ohgr-   Earthworm

Another Ohgr song.  As I explained above, he is a new favorite that I binged on this year.

Ylvis-   The Fox (What Does The Fox Say)

You’ve seen the You Tube video for this that went viral worldwide.  At first I wasn’t sure if this was a joke or not but after watching two other awesomely hilarious videos of theirs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaEnaoydUUo  and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUMV1N7eGM  ), it is obvious they are spoofing modern pop-electronic music.  I felt the urge to get the song, just because.
 
Sweet-   New York Groove

I heard a song the other day – the one next below on this list in fact- and the heavy drum sound reminded me of Ace Frehley’s song New York Groove.  Being near my phone and in the mood to hear that song, I went to You Tube to play the video.  Interestingly enough, there was no official video listed but I did see one for a song of the same name by Sweet.  Once I played it, it turned out to be a cover by the 1970’s band that had reformed in 2010.  I like Sweet, I like the song, and I loved their arrangement of it.  It retains the stomp of the original but throws in a surprise mashup to lighten up the song a little.  I ended up getting their whole album because of this song and it was very fun to listen to.  Another standout that I had no room to include here was their cover of “On Broadway” (the whole album is covers of songs about New York.)

The Mission-   Sometimes The Brightest Light…

Another gem I came across on a CMJ compilation.  This is the same band that was famous in the 1980’s.  I later bought the $5 digital album which was mediocre- only about two other really good songs- but this one was thrilling.  A heavy, pounding sound and gruff vocals.  A great song for when I drive and since I’m commuting to Brandywine, Maryland two or three times a week, I need a lot of good driving songs on my playlist.

Arcade Fire-   After Life

For their follow-up to The Suburbs, Arcade Fire put out a two-CD album.  I knew it would not be as good as the extremely excellent Suburbs album, especially since they were working with the dude from LCD Soundsystem as their producer.  I think LCDS is wildly over-rated and so I was worried about them sounding less like themselves and more like someone I disliked.  Sure enough, they only had 5 good songs among the 2 CDs.  I like this one a lot and would love to hear what it would sound like if it wasn’t embellished with an EDM arrangement. 

Pixies-   What Goes Boom

A couple years back, the Pixies got together and recorded a new song.  They had been touring for several years by then but had not done any new music so hearing about this one song was a nice surprise.  It was only available as a free download from their website so I went there and got it.  While on the site, I registered to get band news so I would get a periodic email about what was going on.  Last year, 2012, they announced a 4-song digital EP available for sale on their website.  I was there in 30 seconds, paying and downloading it.   A few months later, another 4-song EP was announced and then another.  This year, all of them were compiled into a physical CD.  I bought that as well, even though I already owned all the songs.  I did this because I wanted a physical version of the songs and because I was happy to give the Pixies more of my money in appreciation for all they pleasure they had given me over the years.  Unlike many of the critics, I really liked the new songs.  I thought they fit right into their canon.  Granted, none of them were “Monkey’s Gone To Heaven” but then again, none of the Pixie’s other classic era songs were “Monkey’s Gone To Heaven” either. You can’t compare a band’s new stuff to just their absolute best stuff.  I like the new “Blue Eyed Hexe” better than the classic “Gouge Away” and “Snakes” is just as good as their old hit “Here Comes Your Man”.  Yeah, the Pixies are not new anymore but critics were faulting them for trying to sound like the Pixies.  Well of course they were- they ARE the Pixies.  Who else would they try to sound like? 

Cage The Elephant-   Spiderhead

All-Music, a really cool music site (like IMDB but for music), sends out a weekly email listing and reviewing all new alternative and independent music coming out that week.  That’s how I knew one of my favorite new bands was releasing another album.  I would describe this band’s sound thusly- The mantel of innovation and experimentation and surprise that they Pixies laid down back in the day was picked up and worn proudly by Cage The Elephant.  It is no accident that they appear on my compilation alongside each other.  While waiting for new Pixies music, this is one of the bands I turned to as an alternative.  They are inventive, noisy, melodic, and daring, just like any good alternative band should be. 

Skinny Puppy-   Pedafly

As mentioned above, I binged through the last three Skinny Puppy albums this year.  I picked this song to represent them this year because it is a serious, dark, nasty groove.  It pummels you and scares you and  leaves you limp in surrender by the time it is over.  Then I play it again and feel the thrill all over again.  I know it is not to everyone’s taste and that’s why there are so many different sounds and attitude among these two CDs- I want everyone to find something to like.

So I hope you enjoyed the discussion (and the CDs if you were one of the recipients of them.)  I like sharing my finds because I know how hard it is to come across things to enjoy.  If you have favorites of your own to offer up, by all means. Please share so I can discover more new things.  Also, below is my list of favorite and most disappointing albums for the year.  I’m just putting them out there as a list, no commentary about them.  If you are curious about why something made the lists, just ask and I’ll be happy to ramble on at length.
 

My Favorite Albums Of 2013

1              Billy Joel:   Piano Man (Deluxe Reissue)
2              Bee Gees:   Horizontal
2              Bee Gees:   Idea
2              Bee Gees:   Main Course
3              New Christy Minstrels:   Land Of Giants
4              Ohgr:   Welt
5              Skinny Puppy:     Weapon
5              Skinny Puppy:     Handover
5              Skinny Puppy:     Mythmaker
6              Donald Fagen:    Sunken Condos
7              Modest Mouse:   No One Is First And You're Next
8              Cotton Mather:   KonTiki (Deluxe Edition)
9              Cage The Elephant:   Melophobia
10           Juliana Hatfield:   Cells
10           Juliana Hatfield:   There's Always Another Girl
11           Ministry:   From Beer To Eternity
12           Local H:   No Fun
13           Ben Folds:   SuperSunnySpeedGraphic
14           Ohgr:   Undeveloped
14           Ohgr:   SunnyPsyOps
15           Arcade Fire:   Reflektor
16           David Lowery:   The Palace Guards
17           Paul Banks:   Banks
18           Imperial Teen:   On
19           Robert Plant:   Band Of Joy
20           Sheryl Crow:   Feels Like Home
21           Psychic Friend:   My Rock Are Dreams
22           Roxette:   Travelling
23           Nine Inch Nails:   Hesitation Marks
24           Original 7 (The Time):   Condensate
25           Adam Ant:   Adam Ant Is The Blueblack Hussar Marrying The Gunner's Daughter

 
The Most Disappointing Albums Of 2013

1              Bob Welch:   Bob Welch
2              Trip Shakespeare:   Across The Universe
3              Killers, The:   Battle Born
4              Nada Surf:   The Stars Are Indifferent To Astronomy
5              Kiss:   Monster
6              Policia:   Shulasmith
7              Jack White:   Blunderbuss
8              David Bowie:   The Next Day
9              Lita Ford:   The Bitch Is Back
10           Sophie Ellis-Bextor:   Make a Scene
11           Dannii Minogue:   Girl
12           Limosines, The:   Hush
13           Wilco:   The Whole Love
14           Charlie XCX:   True Romance
15           Joan Jett:   Unvarnished

 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Five Books To Save From the Fire

A friend of mine posted a comment on Facebook about what five books she would save if her house was on fire.  She then named two books and asked others for recommendations.  When I razzed her for abdicating her choices, she asked me what I would pick.  Here is my response.


Five Books To Save From the Fire
(By Richard Goodman, 08 December 2013)

The thought kept running through my head over and over again, “Why didn’t I change the batteries in the smoke detector like I was supposed to?  I should have changed the dang batteries!”  Well, it was too late now.  While I was sleeping, the fire had already spread too much for my fire extinguisher to do any good even if I had gotten it serviced too, like I was supposed to.  The flames had already consumed the kitchen and I needed to get out of there before I became a “News At 11:00- Fire Claims A Victim” casualty story.  I headed right to the bedroom closet, threw on a jacket and shoved my checkbook, phone, wallet, car keys and passport in one of the pockets.  I grabbed the external backup hard drive for my computer, a box of film negatives and then turned towards the window, intending to make my way out there instead of going back through the living room where the fire was raging the worst. 

As I was about to open the window, I noticed a book on one of my bookshelves.  It was the copy of “The Count Of Monte Cristo” that I’d had since childhood.  I’d read it several times as a kid, always getting immersed in the intrigue and picturing myself as the wronged count out for revenge.  I still re-read it every ten years or so.  There are so many plots going on that I never remember everything about the book when I dive into it again so it stays fresh.  I have to take that book with me.  That edition is so ingrained in my mind- from the size of the book to the classic pose of the character on the cover painting- that wouldn’t feel the same if I bought a new copy with some modernized cover picture.  Oh, and there is my copy of “A Wrinkle In Time”, by Madeleine L’Engle.  The same thing goes for that book.  That particular edition and cover is forever intertwined in my memory with the weird, touching, hallucinogenic story of Meg and her genius brother Charles.  I can’t let the fire burn that book to ash.
What else should I take with me?  There are so many things sitting on the shelves that deserve to survive.  I should grab four or five things to take with me.  “The Princess Bride”, by William Goldman, is a great book.  Almost all his stuff is good, even the depressing ones, like “Boys And Girls Together” and “Temple Of Gold”.  I’ve read “Bride” a couple of times.  Oddly though, I’ve grown to like the movie better than the book but they are both still great.  Should I take it?  No, I can leave that one.  What about all my Calvin & Hobbes books?  I’ve gone through those a dozen times each.  Every time I need to smile, I can just pull out any one of the books and find something wonderful within five or six pages.  If I leave them though, it will give me an excuse to buy the Complete Calvin & Hobbes book that has been sitting in my Amazon wish list for the last seven years.  That would be a nice way to spend some insurance money.  Okay, I’m leaving behind all the Calvin & Hobbes book, reluctantly. 

Speaking of collections though, I have to take along “The Adventures Of The Stainless Steel Rat”, by Harry Harrison.  It’s the first three stories in the science fiction author’s series about a master criminal who pulls elaborate capers on a planetary level and it is hilarious in a deadpan, “Parks & Rec” way.  That series and especially that compilation was a touchstone when I was a kid.  Up until the last three books in the series, every book was a genius combination of humor, crime caper and sci-fi action.  I’m also taking along my Complete Sherlock Holmes book.  Those stories of Sherlock and Watson are classics.  I decide to leave behind all the James Bond books.  Plus, I have three or four different versions of some of the books so how would I decide which ones to take?  The middle of a scorching fire is not the time to decide which cover I like better. Yeah, this one has the cool 007 gun logo, but that one has a drawing of Roger Moore in a freaking space suit!  I love them both for different reasons.  So I make a Solomon-like decision and leave them both behind.  Besides, I’m sure I can find the exact same ones on e-Bay later on. 
Same thing with Nick Hornby’s “High Fidelity”.  I love his books, especially that one, “About A Boy”, and “Long Way Down” but I can always find them again later and I’m not attached to a particular copy.  I always pick up a copy of “High Fidelity” at library book sales in case I want to pass it along to someone who hasn’t read it yet.  I also pick up copies of any book in Lawrence Block’s “Burglar” series.  I can’t believe everyone isn’t in love with this series of light-hearted murder mysteries that burglar (and book store owner) Bernie Rhodenbarr accidentally, and frequently, gets involved in.  Anyone who liked Monk, the Television show and/or the book series, should like the Burglar series.  My favorite might have to be “The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams”.

I’m tempted to take along Stephen King’s “It” or Fannie Flagg’s “Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Café”, but those are both on the shelves out in the living and I can tell they are already toasted, literally.  I’m really enjoyed the way they both examined human relationships around a horror and dramatic story, respectively. The stories were really driven by the compelling, complex characters rather than the plots and you were totally invested emotionally in the outcome.  Still, the books aren’t worth dying for.  I learned from reading those same books what was worth killing or dying for and a futile dash into a fire to look for a book that was already ash wasn’t on that list.  In fact, I better start thinking about leaving too before I joined them.  I wouldn’t want the local news to report on a guy who burned to death while trying to retrieve some lowbrow entertainment. 
Maybe I should take a few classics, just to balance things out.  I really like “Wuthering Heights”, “Pride And Prejudice”, the “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy, anything by George Bernard Shaw or William Shakespeare.  I have that collection of Shakespeare’s sonnets that is meaningful to me.  I also loved Gore Vidal’s “Lincoln”.  Should I try to carry those out with me?  Nah, those have been around for decades or centuries even.  I don’t need to save the umpteenth reprinting of them.  I hesitate in front of “On A Pale Horse”, by Piers Anthony.  It’s a fantasy book about Death, personified.  It’s not depressing actually and is in fact anti-death, something I’m in favor of while in the middle of a house fire.  I’ve passed along a couple copies to other people so maybe I need to keep a copy for myself.

I come to a standstill when I see my Modesty Blaise books.  Yeah, they are espionage thrillers and Modesty has been called a female ‘James Bond’.  Yes, they are slightly pulpy in their storylines.  At their heart though, they are about how people relate to one another and what is most important to a person’s happiness.  The two main characters, Modesty and Willie Garvin, don’t fight to survive just because they want to live.  They fight because other, innocent, people are depending on them to come to the rescue.  The put themselves in the way of danger because it is the right thing to do and bad people need to be stopped from doing bad things.  Also, the author, Peter O’Donnell, has way of crafting a fight scene that is amazing and he is just as good with dialogue and writing what normal people would say.  I wanted to become Willie Garvin when I grew up.  I still do but now I know that I will never accomplish that.  I have his unwavering loyalty to friends, his sense of right and wrong, his undercurrent of despair that is leavened by his friendship with someone who believes in him, but I lack his outgoing personality, his physical capabilities and his intelligence.  He gives me a target to shoot for though.
I have to take a couple of these books with me.  I instinctively grab “A Taste For Death”, “Dead Man’s Handle” and “Sabretooth” since those are the ones I’ve enjoyed the most.  I also grab “Just Another Day In Paradise”, a series about a detective and his formerly estranged wife.  It’s like a gritty version of the ‘Castle’ television show.  I want one of the books in the series for posterity because there are no more coming.  The author still writes but has stopped doing this series and now focuses on romances. Go figure.  I almost grab “Pillow Stalk”, by Diane Vallere, but I realize that is just my vanity coming through since I’m a character in the book so I leave it.

By now I’m coughing profusely from the smoke.  I should be crawling along to floor to find fresh air instead of standing in a spare bedroom compiling a top ten list of favorite books.  I shove open the window and breathe in the crisp winter air.  I called the fire department as soon as I woke up, but it has been 10 minutes and they still aren’t here yet.  I don’t think there will be anything to save when they arrive.  All the artwork on my wall is gone- the prints and some original art is going up in flames right now.  All my photo albums, clothes, CDs, TV and furniture will be gone, along with my old birthday cards, high school mash notes, college notebooks, stuffed animals, family portraits, journals and diaries.  All, gone in a flash, never to be seen again nor remembered by anyone except me.  I’m reminded of that quote from the movie ‘Blade Runner’- “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.  Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.  I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.  All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.  Time to die.”
With that thought in my head, I figured I’d better keep things from getting prophetic and get my butt out the window.  I grabbed three other books off the shelf before squeezing my way past the window frame and jumping a few feet to the ground.  Finally I heard the sounds of sirens but I knew it was too late to be of any help. That’s why I knew that I should be taking the books that I most treasured, not the ones that had the best literary reputation or were bestsellers.  I would soon be rebuilding everything and life would be much harder in the near future.  That’s why I grabbed those last three books.  I picked them up from among the pine needles where they fell when I landed after my jump.  “A Prayer For Owen Meany” and “Love And Glory” by Robert B. Parker are two of the most inspirational, tear-inducing, human, and beloved books in my library.  I’m going to need some motivation in the next few weeks and they should help.  And the final book, Steve Martin’s “Pure Drivel”, will help me laugh, a lot, and laughter will be needed almost as much as motivation.  Standing there in a jacket I just pulled on overtop my pajamas, I was looking forward to the time when I could laugh.  Right now, I was looking at the flames consuming my place and thought it was a pretty crappy Yule log.  “What a Merry Christmas for me,” I thought as I trudged to my car, shivering, coughing, cursing, but happy to be alive.  Next time I’ll remember to change the batteries in the smoke detector.